What Was Intended to be Potato Gnocchi

Good afternoon, readers! I know you just finished marathon-reading my post about Birthdays in New England and are itching for more of my wit, you can admit it, it's alright.


Well, I'm going to tell you a story, a very unfortunate story of the time (last night) I attempted to make homemade potato gnocchi.


What Was Intended to be Potato Gnocchi


4 medium russet potatoes
1 Tsp salt
1 Tsp pepper
1 egg
1 1/2 C flour, extra to dust
2 Tbsp butter, for pan frying
Fresh sage, for pan frying


This recipe was taken directly from Buzzfeed's Tasty website. The disaster that was my attempt was from my own novice and has no reflection on the recipe whatsoever.


Bring potatoes to a boil in a large pot of cool water. Boil for 20-25 minutes or until fork tender. Boiling the giant pot of water alone took about 25 minutes.


Drain potatoes and allow to cool. I did this, but perhaps I didn't cool them long enough?


Using a peeler, or your fingers, remove the skin from the potatoes. My potatoes were totally naked.


In a medium bowl, mash the potatoes until all lumps are gone. Despite my best efforts, my potatoes remained slightly lumpy. Damn my not owning a ricer!


Season potatoes with salt and pepper, mix well. I definitely didn't mess up that step.


Make a ring in the center of the potatoes and crack the egg in. Somehow I read "lightly beat egg before adding to potatoes", is this where it all went wrong?


Whisk the egg and mix into the potatoes until evenly distributed. Guess that answers my own question, how would beating it before make that much of a difference?


Add flour to dough gradually and knead until the dough loses stickiness and comes together. I added all my flour at once...oops.


Slice the dough into parts and roll it out into a long rope about 1-inch wide. I made mine into discs and cut using a pizza cutter. Could that have been my downfall?


Shape gnocchi either by using an overturned fork to make a serrated corkscrew or pressing a finger in the center to make a small basin.


Bring a large pot of water to a boil and add in the gnocchi. Boil until they float to the top, then remove. Now did this have to be a rolling boil? My water was simmering when I threw them in? Just ignore everything I did and trust the experts, ok?


In a pan over medium heat, melt the butter and add the sage. Add the gnocchi to the sage butter and toss until lighly golden on the outside. This is where everything DEFINITELY went wrong. My gnocchi was holding up in the pot just fine and then I tossed it into the sage butter and it became an unsightly, lumpy, unappetizing porridge. Goodness, why?! Just why?! It was one of the most sickening things I've ever made. Again, I plead, why?!


Notice there is no picture of my handiwork, this is because it was so gross looking I was ashamed to lay eyes on it. Just follow my advice, and do everything opposite of what I did and maybe, just maybe, you'll end up with the delectable and edible gnocchi that Tasty intended, and not the congealed mass I was gifted.